NOAA keeps posting “Hazardous Weather Outlooks” amd “Winter Weather Advisories” for us here in North Idaho.  Ummm.  Okay.  I keep prepping for what that historically means:

• four foot dumps of snow with rain immediately after which then collapses standard roofs;
• wind-driven snow that forms six-foot drifts, visibility zero, wind-chill down to -26°F;
• ice storms that put an inch-thick coating of frozen ‘slick’ on everything, tearing down power lines and trees….

What are we getting?  Yawn.  Not even something to sneeze at.

I notice the same trend for less obscure places than Idaho, places like Cleveland, OH, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and the Beltway.

“The sky is falling, the sky is falling, we’re going to get a [normal] winter weather event.  Driving will be reduced to IMPOSSIBLE!”

Roll my eyes.  Ah, it’s winter, folks.  Snow, ice, and slick driving conditions are the norm, not something to squawk like a chicken being chased by the neighbor’s dog.

New York gets two inches of white stuff, and, suddenly, it’s grid-lock and accidents galore resulting in highway shutdowns, all of which brings commuter accusations that the highway departments didn’t do their jobs laying down ‘salt’ (magnesium chloride in a lot of cases, which, in case you didn’t know it, is hazardous to living things and to vehicles, all).

Umm, slow down, obey the laws of physics, and don’t be a jackass?

But, no.  Instead, we’ve got the weather people warning of coming disaster when there’s no impending disaster, at all:

• We’re not going to lose power for eight days mid-winter;
• we’re not going to be digging out from under an avalanche of white stuff;
• we’re not going to have to chain up the 4-wheel drive in order to negotiate the county road and highway;
• our roofs are will not be in danger of collapse;
• and going outside doesn’t mean a high potential for seared lungs, frozen faces, and frostbitten toes and fingers by sub-zero temperatures coupled with strong, bitter winds.

It’s Chicken Little hollering, is all.

And why? I think it must be because thoroughly modern Millies and Sillies and Willies and Weanies all think they should be able to drive down the road hell bent for their destinations at over posted speed limits like they do when it’s sunny and dry.  (Dumb.)

NOAA, don’t predict what’s actually mild to normal weather as a red alert.  Don’t play to the thoroughly modern Millies and Sillies and Willies and Weanies.  Normal people want to know when real hazards are imminent.  Don’t play to the stupids.  Let them win The Darwin Awards.